Everybody makes mistakes; nobody is perfect and nobody will ever be.

Zulkifli Bin Azman, i swear i miss you so damn lots. :( i disappointed you time and again. I could see that you were feeling so upset when you got to know i was with someone. But trust me, i didn't leave you for him! I never did. He was just a replacement to me. I can't believe i'm saying this, but he is. :/ you're the only one that i truly love. No one else, but you. I feel like a jerk to G. I think of you when i'm currently with him. I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have been in a rush.

And i still want the hug that you promised. A few days ago you said that you wanted to hug somebody so damn bad and asked me if i will be that special one to get hugged by you. I felt so elated at that point of time. You were willing to treat me like how you used to, normally. But then after you saw me wall-posting with G, you sent me a mxg saying, 'Okay thts it. You wont get that promised hug and (----) already.'

Me: Why?
Him: I just cant. After what i see, i dont have to understand anymore. Doesnt matter if its a misunderstanding or not. I cant keep that promise to you.
Me: Oh k fine.
Him: K bye.

I feel so damn sad, can? I didn't expect that reaction from you. You could wallpost with other girls the same way i did, then why can't i? I felt jealous too when you did that but i didn't say a thing cos i know we would only end up arguing and quarreling over the matter. It's just too common. Later that afternoon, he texted me again.

Him: Can i ask eu something?
Me: Yes what?
Him: Did eu leave me for G?
Me: Noooo~
Him: So eure with G?
Me: I guess so.
Him: Oh... Okay...
Me: Why?
Him: I guess that eu werent serious about us back then...
Me: I wassss serious about us.. The reason i broke up with you was cos i had the feeling that you didn't care anymore.
Him: If i didnt, i would have asked for break first. And i wouldnt feel jealous right now.
Me: But you told me that we can't be in a relationship anymore. So i thought you had no feelings for me anymore. Then why are you jealous?
Him: I never said i had no feelings for eu..
Me: Then?
Him: Your constant mood swings affect me.
Me: Ohh..
Him: Then i'll get depressed when eur sad...Then i emo in class.. All the time..

Soooo, is that the reason you said we can't be in a relationship anymore? Because my mood affects you? And gets you depressed? I know i've got constant mood swings. I realise that. You should've told me so i could change for the better, but you didn't tell me what you feel. So how would i know? :'(

Him: Haiz....
Me: Whyyy..?
Him: Sedih ah...
Me: Knaper..?
Him: Nvm uhh... All the best with G luhh...
Me: Eh tell me...
Him: Cuz after we broke up and i agreed to give eu a hug, suddenly eu're with G...

I was so damn sad, okay. I had to find a replacement so that i wouldn't feel hurt again. By what you did. And now i regret. How stupid am i. I see no light anymore. I feel so lost without you. You were gone just like that. How i wished i could rewind time and i wouldn't ask for break. And it would be our 3rd month already. HAISHH. What a sad life i have. :'(

The guy that i share my secrets with, confide my problems to, the only one that i trust wholeheartedly, the guy who could cheer me up when i'm down, who makes me feel like i'm the only girl in the world, who makes me feel loved and wanted, and the one who hates seeing me sad and would try his very best to try to put a smile on my face; i miss you. Yes, Zulkifli Bin Azman, i love you and i miss you to the freaking max. You'll aways be the one in my heart even when other guy tries to replace you. They'll never succeed in occupying my heart and replacing you. Cos you are you and they aren't. Please, talk to me dearest.

And i'm feeling so down right now. :(